MAMA’S MAMA
Mama’s Mama, on a winter’s day,
Milked the cows and fed them hay,
Slopped the hogs, saddled the mule,
And got the children off to school,
Did the washing, mopped the floors,
Washed the windows and did some chores,
Cooked a dish of home-dried fruit,
Pressed her husband’s Sunday suit,
Swept the parlor, made the bed,
Baked a dozen loaves of bread,
Split some wood and lugged it in,
Enough to fill the kitchen bin,
Cleaned the lamps and put in oil,
Stewed some apples she thought might spoil,
Churned the butter, baked a cake,
Then exclaimed: “For Mercy’s sake,
The calves have got out of the pen!”
Went out and chased them in again,
Gathered the eggs and locked the stable,
Returned to the house and set the table,
Cooked a supper that was delicious,
And afterwards washed all the dishes,
Fed the cat, sprinkled the clothes,
Mended a basket full of hose,
Then opened the organ and began to play,
“When You Come To The End Of A Perfect Day.”
This poem was written by a lady named Anna Rees Henton in 1953 – she was 85 years old.
The home-front is the foundation of life and all you do. I’d like to offer some information on creating a more peaceful, simpler and healthier home environment. What happens at home affects not only our state of being but the environment as well.
I’d like to begin by giving you a simple list of helpful hints…this is especially helpful for stay at home moms and dads or if you’re simply a home-keeper.
After my second child was born I went through many dark periods of depression…not so much after my first born. It was a big let down for me that both of my babies had to be born by c-section. I somehow felt, as most women do, that to really given birth, a vaginal delivery was the only way to go…I soon got over that and realized no matter how children come into this world (even if adopted), you have given birth.
As mothers, we somehow feel our maternal instincts immediately kick in; or at least that’s what we’re told. I felt guilty that mine took a while but once it did kick in, I was totally in love with my babies.
Many women I’ve spoken to feel a c-section birth takes longer before you truly bond with that baby. It’s o.k. and very normal and because of the guilt, lots of women suffer in silence. Staying home with children is the hardest job, and yet; sometimes it’s work that goes unnoticed.
I call it the invisible mom syndrome. We do little things everyday like picking dirty clothes up off the floor, putting out fresh towels, making sure dishes are cleaned and ready for use, clothes are washed and ready to wear, you drive everyone around and get them to where they need to be and so on and so forth.
The list goes on and on. It’s almost as though we, as parents, stand still and stop our lives so our children can have a solid foundation to grow and move on. I believe more mothers groups should be available so we don’t feel so alone.
I think most care-takers suffer through this and they need to know there are ways to make these active parenting years a bit easier. No parent is perfect no matter what a family looks like on the outside. It’s o.k. to feel inadequate and insecure.
Anyway, I’d like to give you a few tips on how I made it easier to stay home. I hope some of these helpful hints will encourage you because you’re not alone. I love my daughter and son with all of my being.
I know that when the time comes for them to fly away, they will carry with them happiness, love, peace as well as a deep sense for helping those in need. It will be all worth it and they will always remember me and keep me in their hearts forever.
A paycheck can never give you a feeling like that…. and in those quiet and unexpected times when they look into your eyes and say “I Love You Mommy,” …you know you’re doing everything right!
C-SECTION BLUES
My belly was big
It went way out to there.
So they put it under a machine and then they shaved off
all the hair.
Honey , let me tell you about those c-section blues.
didn’t dilate too wide
So they tried to induce.
Blood pressure went sky high and I thought” what the
hell’s the use.”
Honey, I’ve got those high blood pressure c-section blues.
So they gave me a bikini cut
But they cut it too high.
I can’t wear a bikini now I think I’m gonna die.
Honey, I’ve got those changing body image, high blood pressure c-section blues.
Now I’ve got a big scar.
It runs from here to there.
I can’t sit-up without assistance, so I ain’t goin’
nowhere.
Honey, I’ve got those can’t sit up, changing body image,
high blood pressure c-section blues.
Then they sewed up the bikini cut.
And they stapled it shut.
As soon as I can move without pain, I plan to kick some
butt.
Honey, I’ve got those mean enough to kick butt, can’t-sit-up, changing body image, high blood pressure c-section blues.
Yes, you heard me right.
I’ve got those natural childbirth classes amounted to
nothing, mean enough to kick butt, can’t sit up, changing
body image, high blood pressure, caesarian section blues.
Written by: Karen and Clark Iverson
Gigi’s Helpful Home Hints: These are some of the things that I found help me through the day.
1) As soon as I wake up I jump in the shower and get dressed. Don’t stay in your night clothes all day, as this will not give you a sense of purpose and makes you feel sluggish through out the day; this was part of my own depression. You want to be ready for anything.
2) I didn’t realize I had let myself go until my daughter pointed it out one day. She really did not feel comfortable for mom to be seen by friends and she was absolutely right. Take care of your appearance everyday. You’ll feel much better all the way around and everyone else will be happier.
3) I have a calendar book that I update almost every night. I look to see what’s going on for the next day and write down any errands I may need to do. I save my shopping for Sunday mornings when I can go alone and relax. Get as many things done around the weekend so that during the week you only have to be concerned about school and extracurricular activities; I even try to schedule any doctor’s appointments on Sat. mornings. Some doctors and dentists offer that service.
4) Find a good friend you can talk to about your feelings and share helpful ideas with. It certainly takes a village of mothers and fathers to raise all of our children. I find although I can share many things with my husband and he certainly tries to be understanding and appreciates all that I do, I feel at times it’s a bit more beneficial for me to have that close girl friend who’s also a mother. They understand…they’ve been there and done that.
5) Find and join groups that address your particular needs and interests. We are more than mothers and fathers. We are individuals that didn’t just die after we had children. Keep your interests alive and do little things to get out of the house and feel like a real person again. You don’t work 8 hours a day(although some corporations do this) without a break; you shouldn’t go all week without having some personal alone time. I go for long walks, do research and write. I also take some time in the early morning to center myself and get some very needed alone time. Pray, chant, meditate, read or do some yoga before staring your day.
6) Try and keep a positive attitude.
7) Replace negative thinking and habits with things that bring you happiness such as happy family and friends and getting yourself involved with interests that bring you joy.
8) Don’t spread yourself thin especially during the holidays. You can’t please everybody all of the time. Don’t feel bad about being a little selfish and do what makes you comfortable whether it’s spending less for gifts or simply choosing to stay in your own home and celebrate.
9) Make sure your friends and family understand your time with yourself and your children is precious to you. Set boundaries in a kind way. I do most of my writing between 10am and 1pm. Everyone pretty much knows I won’t be answering the phone unless it’s an emergency; after all, no one calls people at their regular jobs to chat.
10) Get your husband and children to help around the house. My kids clean up their rooms and pick up after themselves and my husband is in charge of trash and lawn. You’re not Super Mom or Super Dad; you can’t do it all or you won’t have any quality time left over to spend with your family.
11) Avoid drugs, coffee, sugary drinks and soda pop, tobacco and/or chewing snooze. Drink plenty of fluids, walk and eat healthier…don’t over eat!
12) Don’t talk about what you have to do, just do it.
13) Turn off your television or simply throw a blanket over it; if you’re able, get rid of it altogether.
14) Do one task at a time.
15) Keep active and use less heat during the winter months.
16) Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
17) Home school your little ones.
18) Keep up with the cleaning and picking up. It’s a whole lot easier to maintain than to try to do it all in one day. I wipe down the toilet and kitchen everyday. These areas tend to be the most active and harbor the most germs.
19) Set aside time to do NOTHING AT ALL!
20) And finally…STOP WORRYING; the dirty dishes will still be there tomorrow and so will the dirty laundry. Make the most of each and everyday and be thankful. Worrying will resolve nothing!
***For all of you stay at home dads, I commend you. You also have many of the same worries and needs. I hope the above information can be of some help. Good luck to you and enjoy each and every moment; know you hold the most important job you you’ll ever have and we thank you.***
Till next time – Peace Always, Gigi
Related Books:
Spiritual Midwifery by: Ina May Gaskin (you can also read more on Ina and her way of life at- thefarm.org – this may be the best book ever written on natural child birth)
Heart and Hands by: Elizabeth Davis
The Complete Book of Midwifery by: Barbara Brennan
Diary of a Midwife by: Juliana Van O Phen-Fehr (I could not put this one down – great read as well as valuable information)
Midwifery and Herbs by: Willa Shaffer
A Simple Choice by: Deborah Taylor Hough
Simplicity is Genius by: Criswell Freeman (a must-have on your bookshelf)
Simple Living by: Frank Levering
Resources for Living: A Plain Man’s Philosophy by: Gains G. Atkins (a must have)
Coping With Life by: Merritt W. Borden
Websites:
www.freenclearstuff.com (offers a vast array of really totally free stuff…good selection for babies and children) you can also get a fee subscription to parenting a baby magazines!
www.mennonitemaidens.com (they offer a nice selection of home-made plain and simple children’s toys as well as baby blankets, environmentally safe baby and adult diapers and baby wipes)
www.motherhood.com (great pregnancy apparel at modest prices)
www.wendysmodestdress.com ( home-made comfortable attire and lots of very low priced gentle used clothing)
www.Alibris.com (they carry every book known to man covering parenthood, children, cooking, cleaning and care-taking) I think they’re the best!
www.blair.com (comfortable dress at amazingly low prices!)
www.butterflymama.com (fair-trade store…beautiful, sexy and flowing tops)
www.soul-flower.com (some cool plus size apparel)
Backwoods Home Magazine – write to editor@backwoodshome
Common Sense at Home Newsletter and Books – write to cash@lakeozarknet
These last two websites and newsletters deal with everything from home- to alternative home energy sources…perfect for anyone staying home with kids, working from home or interested in home tips and alternative living.
www.lalecheleague.org (help with breastfeeding)
There are also many websites that offer a wealth of information to dads as well as connecting them to other stay-at-home dads.
Life is a series of tests; but if you pass
your tests, you look back upon them as good
experiences.
Peace Pilgrim